Bad Neighbours Trio
by Schnitzelsandshit
Summary: America takes part into a comic book contest and convinces England to read his "creation",about three strange European nations. Read it and enjoy!
1. The begining

**THE BEGINING**

One day,after a dull world meeting,England went to the caffeteria to get something good to eat. His stomach was growling inside him,begging for food. Also,he felt extremely tired. Germany's voice was the only thing that kept him awake.

After he bought a coffee,England sat quietly at a table near the window. Ah,the sweet silence!

''Dude,England!". England winced,pourring the cup all over the table.

''Bloody hell!What do you want?!I was enjoying the delightful silence until you came in!"

America,who didn't care much about what England was blabbering,threw a comic book in front of him.

"What's that?",asked the green eyed nation,while reading the cover."Bad Neighbours Trio?!Aren't those..."

''Yes,Romania,Hungary and Bulgaria!I'm taking part in a comic contest and I decided to make those three my heroes!I even gave them cool names!"

England burst into laughter:"Oh my God!Captain Goulash,Super Yoghurt Fairy and Sarmale Defender?!This is...ridiculous!"

America snatched the comic from him,visibly irked:"Haha,you can laugh!But you don't know how much time it took me to find those names."

''Yeah,I imagine...But why did you choose them?"

''Well,those three are so funny together!I laugh my ass off when the vampire guy and the fry pan chick argue. I remember when he put gum in her hair once. And the dude who always eats yoghurt is really weird. They form the perfect kick-ass trio!"

"Yeah,indeed...But why do you want me to read it?"

"I need a first impression. Just read it,okay?!See ya!",beamed America,while waving his hand. He left England even more confused.

"Hey,wait!",yelled the English after him. He grabbed the book and scanned it quickly. On the cover were Romania,the Sarmale Defender,Hungary,as Captain Goulash,and Bulgaria,the Super Yoghurt Fairy. All of them were wearing ridiculous clothes. Bulgaria had baby pink yoga pants,Hungary's fry pan was on her head,as a helmet,while Romania had a red towel as a cape.

"Oh my God,why he had to make it about those three?!I mean they aren't great at all and always fail whenever they're trying to do something!I would've been a cooler hero". England opened the book at the first page and began to read."So,Bad Neighbours Trio,let's see what you got..."

 **HOW EVERYTHING STARTED**

''You disappointed me again!I expected more from you,Hungary!",scolded angry the EU's boss the Hungarian woman. Hungary couldn't do anything,but nodd .

Then,he turned to Romania and Bulgaria:"Not to mention you two!You can't do anything without ruining everything!"

''B-but we are doing our best!",replied Romania."Why are you so mean?!"

''Romania,you're not in the position to tell me that you're doing your best!I mean,look at Bulgaria!He's sleeping,for God's sake!"

''No,he's not!". Romania dug Bulgaria in the ribs,making him leap. The boss dragged a hand over his face angry.

"God,why do I have to be surrounded by such idiots?!",mumbled he,while leaving the three countries alone.

Hungary was looking absently on the window,while Bulgaria ate his precious yoghurt. Romania was walking from one corner of the room to another.

"Could you please stop walking?!",grumbled Hungary."It's annoying!"

"Shut up,woman!At least I try to think at something to show what we really can do!I mean,come on!We used to fight Turkey when we were kids!We aren't that bad!"

"Or maybe we just are that bad?Come one,Romania let's admit it. We ruin everything!",added Bulgaria with pessimism.

"I won't accept that!Let's do something!I don't know,let's form a trio together and save the Europe!"

Hungary and Bulgaria burst into laughter. What the Romanian said was definitely stupid and childish.

"It's our chance!I even came up with a badass name for us!"

"What name?",asked Hungary,raising one eyebrow.

"Bad Neighbours Trio!Forget the Bad Touch Trio,we're cooler!"

"Hmmm...Not bad,Romania,not bad...",said Bulgaria,while rubbing his chin."Guess that I'll join this!"

"Great!",smiled the blonde. He and Bulgaria turned to Hungary."So...Want to give it a try?"

"Huh?!Forget it!I don't ally with stupid Wallachians and yoghurt addicts!Hey!Don't look at me with those puppy eyes!". They began starring at her with big,sparkly eyes."Stop it!It won't work!"

After a second,Hungary gave up:"Okay,okay!I'll join you!But don't you ever do this again,okay?!"

Romania jumped happy,while clapping his hands with excitement.

"Hell yeah!I think we should have some awesome names. For example,Hungary!You can be Captain Goulash,who'll repel the evil with the force of her fry pan!"

Her eyes began to sparkle:"I can't believe that something you say can sound so...great!"

"Bulgaria can be the Super Yoghurt Fairy and I'll be Sarmale Defender. Huh?What do you think,guys?"

Hungary and Bulgaria exchanged looks and then turned to Romania:"Yeah,sounds cool."

They highfived.

"So,Bad Neighbours Trio...Our activity will begin tomorrow!"

It was the first time in a while when they felt hopeful and confident in their forces. Who thought a silly idea like that could bring a smile on their faces?Anyway,it won't be easy for them to be great heroes...


	2. Losers in action!

**LOSERS IN ACTION!**

"Oh my fucking God,Romania,your driving is terrible!",said Hungary scared,while holding the seatbelt tight. Same did Bulgaria,who was nearly flying through the windscreen.

They were in Romania's car,who drove it which such a speed,you could feel every piece of your body disintegrating.

"Haha!You won't survive on Bucharest's streets if you drive like a pussy!Luckily,I got my car repainted and repaired yesterday!"

"Only to destroy it again with your shitty driving!"

"Oh,shut up already!Let's put some badass music!"

As Romania pushed the play button,a weird song started. His face turned red because of the lyrics,which sounded like:

"E CHEF DE CHEF SI TOTI BANII MEI II DAU PE FEMEI!"

Bulgaria burst into laughter:"Isn't that manele?!". Hungary was confused.

"N-no!",said Romania nervous,while switching the song."I don't listen to that!Somebody put that here!Anyway,what we'll have to do next?"

Hungary pulled out a white paper and began to read:"Stop Serbia and Croatia arguing".

"Oh,not Serbia!I don't like him!",moaned Bulgaria,while preparing his wood stick.

"We have the duty to bring peace among the European countries,so don't complain!And Serbia isn't that bad…",said Romania.

Hungary rolled her eyes:"Hmph!Two douchebags understanding each other. That's how you and Serbia are. Anyway,let's prepare because we're close to our destination!"

Meanwhile,Serbia and Croatia were throwing chairs at each other. Montenegro was sleeping somewhere on the background,his snoring sounds could be heard on the distance.

"You fucking son of bitch!Stop throwing chairs and fight me like a man!Or you're a pussy,I guess?!",yelled the Serb. Croatia,who was nearly exploding,rolled his shirt's sleeves.

"Ok,you cheeky cunt!Let's see who's going to be knocked out soon!"

When their fists were nearly touching their faces,Romania's car appeared out of nowhere,destroying the pub's walls.

"Stop it right now!",yelled the Romanian."Woah!That was kick-ass entry!"

"Huh?!What's going on?!",woke up Montenegro,while Serbia and Croatia looked shocked at the trio.

"What are you guys doing here?!And why is Bulgaria wearing yoga pants?",laughed Serbia. The Bulgarian slapped him with his wood stick.

"You should stop arguing!It's not nice!"

When Serbia tried again to say something,Hungary hit him right in the head with her fry pan.

"You can't force me to stop hating this Serbian scum!",replied Croatia."Who do you think you are,Europe's Justice League?"

Romania smirked:"No,we're not!But we are…THE BAD NEIGHBOURS TRIO!". When he said that,the blonde put a pair of sunglasses on his face,like a true badass."So,stop arguing right fucking now,unless you want me to beat your ass with my roller pin"

Suddenly,Hungary hit Romania:"Hey!Don't you dare touch Croatia!Serbia started everything!"

"No,he didn't!Croatia is to be blamed of!"

Bulgaria facepalmed,while Montenegro asked him if he needs some popcorn. Serbia and Croatia began to take sides:Serbia with Romania vs. Hungary and Croatia.

The fight started:chairs and bottles were flying around and fists were shared with generosity. Bulgaria hid himself after the bar,dragging after him a sleeping Montenegro,who was almost hit with a rakija bottle right in the head. Only John Cena was missing from this scene.

"STOP IT RIGHT FUCKING NOW!". It was Switzerland,who came here to calm the things down,in his specific way:threatening everyone with a Kalashnikov.

Later,Hungary,Romania and Bulgaria were in Germany's office.

"What do you think you're doing,dummkopfs?!You destroyed that pub and nearly sent Croatia and Serbia to the hospital!",growled the German.

"B-but we're trying to bring order and piece in Europe,Germany!",explained Hungary."Look,we managed to separate and stop them for a while from arguing!"

Germany was really,really angry. On his forehead,a vein was pulsating so fast that it could explode from time to time.

"Bring peace?!That's not how you bring the peace and order,you idiots!You three are not suppoused to do anything like that!In fact,you should stay away from any responsibility!You can't do anything without ruining things around!Now get out of here!I don't want to see you again!"

After they left,they could hear Germany mimicking angry Hungary's voice,when she said that they are here to bring peace and order.

"We suck…",sighed Bulgaria."I knew it's a bad idea…"

"Don't say that,we just…"

"But he's right",added Hungary."Maybe we should stop and accept that we're just a bunch of losers…I don't know about you,but I'm going back to my house."

Romania ran after his neighbours:"Come on,guys!You know we have to start from the bottom!They need us!"

Bulgaria stopped and shook Romania's shoulders:"It's useless!They don't want us around!Give up already!"

They left him alone. The strawberry blonde nation fell on his knees,gloomy:

"I failed again…"

 _ **Short note:I used Tix's OCs for Serbia and Montenegro. You can imagine Croatia with his more or less official design. Also,guess that my fellow Romanians will get the reference of that song ;)**_


	3. Ponies,potatoes and Estonia

**PONIES,POTATOES AND...ESTONIA**

Bulgaria just woke up. He looked on the window:nothing changed. Rain,rain and rain. Bad weather was making Sofia depressed and dull.

The nation took his laptop and started to check his Facebook. The feed was full of Greece's selfies,of course,with philoshophical quotes,photos with France's outfits and Sealand's karaoke videos.

"Ehh...Nothing interesting...",said Bulgaria,while sipping from a cup of coffee. His green eyes suddenly began to sparkle,after he scrolled a bit down."Somebody stole Poland's ponies?!Who would do that?"

It was said that Poland would do anything to find and,maybe,kill the thief of his dear ponies.

"At least I have a new subject to gossip about with Romania. Hmmm...I should pay him a visit."

He put a green jacket on and left immediately. Later,the Bulgarian arrived in Bucharest and took a taxi to his neighbour's house. After how much he visited Romania,Bulgaria got to know Bucharest pretty well.

"Hey,Romania!Have you heard that..."

"Somebody stole Poland's ponies?Yes. And he's suspecting me!What a jerk!What would I do with his fucking ponies?!",grumbled Romania."Why is everyone thinking that I'm a fucking thief?!"

"Big brother,I don't think that you're a thief!",comforted him Moldova,who,as Bulgaria,came in a short visit to his brother. Romania smiled sadly and ruffled the kid's hair.

"Maybe you should tell Poland you have nothing to do with his ponies. And bring Moldova,you know how the kid is melting everyone's heart.",adviced Bulgaria,while thinking how lucky he is that nobody thought at first that he could be the thief. Romania and Bulgaria were badly and unfairly portrayed as stealers,so whenever something was missing,all the fingers were pointed at them.

Suddenly,Hungary burst in like a hurricane. She seemed to be agitated and was breathing heavily,because she had to run to Romania's house.

"POTATOES. GERMANY. EMERGENCY MEETING. NOW!",anounced Hungary,while panting. Romania,Bulgaria and Moldova exchanged confused looks.

"Just follow me,okay?!". The three nations followed Hungary. She told them on the way that somebody stole Germany's potato provisions and he called all the European nations for an emergency meeting. It was said that he and Prussia starved all the day.

The atmosphere in the meeting room was very tensionate. Every country was whispering and,sometimes,giving short looks at Romania or Bulgaria.

"It is totally the same person!Like,it happened at the same time,you know.",explained Poland to Czech and Slovakia."I'm sure it's Romania!He's totally involved with this magic thing,like he can steal something from you everytime!"

"Hey!Stop saying that about me!I'm not a thief!Plus,your ponies are useless and stink!",grumbled Romania. Poland gasped:"Huh,how dare you say that?!"

"SILENCEEE!",yelled Germany. His stomach growled inside him,making the other nations giggle."It's not funny,you dummkopfs!"

"Want some pasta?",said Italy,smiling widely. Germany glared at him."No?Okay..."

"You called us here only because somebody stole your potatoes?What a foolish reason...",teased England. Everyone agreed,silently,with the Brit. Germany gave a death stare to England.

"So,guess that all of you know why I called you here. Somebody stole me and my brother's potatoes provision. I don't know who the hell stole it,but if I'll ever find that person...". He tried to look as calm as possible,but the vein near his forehead was pulsating,sign that the German was extremely angry.

Poland rose from his chair and cleared his throat:

"It's totally the same person who stole my dear ponies!And I know who's responsable for!It's totally Romania,like he's always stealing!"

Everyone gasped and looked at Romania in shock.

"What the hell?!I told you I haven't stolen your freacking ponies!Bulgaria and Hungary were at my house a hour ago and they didn't see a pony or a potato sack here!"

"Mr Germany,listen!Big brother wouldn't do something like that!He isn't a thief!",said Moldova nearly crying. The kid managed to impress all the countries here,even the angry German.

"You can go to my house in Bucharest to check out,if you don't believe me!". Romania remembered the last time Germany made an official visit at home. All the stray dogs from Bucharest,who were so many they could form an actual army,gathered around the building,sensing Germany's presence.

"Nein,I don't think it's necessary...Anyway,let's talk about..."

"Excuse me,but...Estonia is missing!",interrupted Lithuania,shyly. Indeed,the Estonian wasn't sitting in his usual spot,but no one noticed that until now. Countries began to whisper that he has to do something with the misterious disappearances of Germany and Poland's precious things or to blame Illuminati for that. Lithuania noticed that on Estonia's chair was a piece of paper with something written on. He read it loud,so everyone could hear:

" **If you want your ponies,potatoes and Estonian back,find us to negociate in two weeks."**

Everyone was confused. They didn't mention the meeting place at all,only the time of it.

"See,I told you!",said Romania,pointing his finger at Poland."You should apologyse!"

Germany hit the table with his fist,making everyone shut up.

"OKAY!I guess that we'll have to solve this mistery quickly,because I need my potatoes back!I'll talk to the police to start the investigation. If you'll hear or find something suspicious,don't forget to tell me or France. Understand?!"

"Yeah...",chorused all the countries,bored. After the meeting ended,Romania called Hungary and Bulgaria to have a short talk.

"It's our time to shine,Bad Neighbours!Let's solve this mistery and prove them we're not just a bunch of losers!",beamed Romania.

"Are you insane,you piece of Romanian crap?!",shook him Hungary."Remember the last time we tried to do something?!"

"Oh,come on,everyone forgot about that!Imagine Germany's face after we'll find the convict!"

Hungary and Bulgaria thought a second."God,how much I'd like to see his stupid face...He deserves that,after how he blamed us for everything and made us feel like a bunch of dummies. I think we should do this!",added Bulgaria. Then Hungary remembered how Germany mimicked her voice in a mocking way...and she felt the anger going through her veins. "Fuck it!Let's just do this!"

"So,Bad Neighbours Trio...we are back in bussiness!",said Romania,while highfiving with Hungary and Bulgaria.


	4. Finally,you found me!

" **FINALLY,YOU FOUND ME!"**

Romania and Hungary were going to Bulgaria's house with Romania's car. They were dressed in their "hero" outfits.

"We look ridiculous. You always have bad ideas,Romania!",said Hungary.

"Shut up,we look fabulous!"

"Speak for yourself!You don't have a fry pan as a helmet on your head!"

Romania turned to Hungary and glared at her:"If you won't stop complaining,I swear I'll catapult you out the windscreen!Anyway,I hope the Bulgarian is ready,unless he wants me to kick his ass!"

The two countries arrived at Bulgaria's house in Sofia. When they entered his bedroom,they found the black haired guy sleeping with two girls in his bed.

"What the fuck...?!Bulgaria,wake your ass up,we don't have time to waste!",yelled Hungary,while making some noise with her fry pan. The Bulgarian jumped scared,waking up the girls next to him. They looked like they had a hangover.

"Was that really necessary?!I could wake up without you here!",grumbled Bulgaria. He turned to the mysterious girls,smirking:"You can stay here until I'll come back,but only if you want to." One of them got up and slapped him."So that's how you greet your tourists here,huh?!Getting them drunk,then hitting on them?!What a perv...",said the other one,while leaving.

Romania and Hungary were giggling together. Bulgaria put quickly his clothes on,then rushed with the other two nations.

"So,Bulgaria...You've been naughty,I see...",teased him Romania,while raising an eyebrow."How you got them?"

"Well,they were pretty lost and I offered to show them the good stuff over here. We went to a pub,we drank…and then…you can guess…"

"Woah!Bulgaria,you little bastard….",laughed the blonde guy. Hungary thought about how libidinous they could be. And then Bulgaria dropped the bomb:

"Actually…the girls were tourists from your house,Romania….",said he innocently. Romania's pale face turned as red as a tomato and remained pokerfaced. Luckily,Hungary interrupt the awkward silence:

"Okay,guys,let's focus on our mission. Hmmm…We'll have to go to Estonia's house…Guys?!Guys?!Are you even listening to me?!". Romania was still giving death stares to Bulgaria,who felt embarrassed as hell. "Oh my God,could you just forget about that?!We have to do this before Germany goes there!"

"Okay…",sighed Romania."Now,prepare!We gotta go fast!"

"NOOOOOOO!",screamed Hungary and Bulgaria,knowing that "gotta go fast" means to Romania "gotta go with the speed of light and drive as shitty as possible".

After one hour,the countries were finally at Estonia's house,searching for proofs.

"See,my driving isn't that bad!",boasted Romania.

"I had a fucking bird stuck in my hair and look at Bulgaria!He's still trembling!",replied Hungary. Romania rolled his red eyes:"Whatever..."

Estonia's house wasn't very big. It was rather simple and clean,with things perfectly ordered on the shelves. On the walls were only two paintigs,while on a table was a vase with three yellow flowers. They didn't find anything special,until they got in his bedroom.

"Jesus,it looks like one of Italy's parties!",said Romania.

The bedroom was a huge mess. Books were scattered on the roof,the Batman posters over Estonia's bed were ripped and his PC's screen was broken. The countries noticed steps on the carpet and a straight trace,like somebody was dragged over .

"This doesn't look good. I hope Estonia is alright!",worried Hungary.

"Hey!What's that on the chair?!". Bulgaria grabbed the blue memory stick and scanned it:"It has something written on!"

"What?!",chorused Hungary and Romania,while looking curious at what's written on the stick. Bulgaria cleared his throat and read:"Finally,you found me!"

The countries looked confused.

"And that's all?!"

"Oh my God,Romania,of course this isn't all,dumbass!We should check it out to see what he has ins…"

"WHAT ARE YOU THREE DOING HERE!?",growled Germany,while the other countries jumped so high,that they almost hit the ceiling."I told you to not stick your nose where isn't your business!"

The German was here with Italy,who looked like he didn't give a single fuck,and Latvia,who helped them find Estonia's house.

"Look,Germany,we're trying to help here!We know Estonia since he used to live in Russia's house.",explained Romania.

"Oh my God…",muffled Germany,while dragging angry a hand over his face."You three only bring disasters wherever you go!Look at how you're dressed!You're ridiculous,so stop pretending you're a bunch of heroes and leave right fucking now!"

Romania sighed:"Okay,then…we'll leave…". Italy,when he noticed how upset his Romanic brother was,turned to Germany:

"Hey,don't be so harsh with brother Romania!He's just trying to help!Just give them a chance,Germany!"

"But…"

"Grandpa Rome would be sad if he would've heard you saying that one of his grandsons is useless."

Germany sighed and turned to Romania,Hungary and Bulgaria:"Okay,you can help us…Just don't ruin things around you…"

The nations smiled cheerfully and Romania hugged Italy.

"I hope Estonia will be back soon…",worried Latvia."So,did you guys find something important?"

"Yeah.",replied Hungary."Bulgaria found this memory stick on Estonia's chair. And the traces on the carpet."

She gave Germany the memory stick. He scanned it quickly with his baby-blue eyes and said:

"Italy,post on Europe's facebook group that all the countries should prepare for another important meeting immediately!". The Italian shook his head and did as Germany said. Later,all the European countries were in the meeting room. Everyone was nervous and curious.

"Have you lost another sack of potatoes?",laughed England."Or,let me guess,this time you lost your underwear and called us to help you find it."

Germany glared at England and began to speak:"First of all,SHUT THE FUCK UP AND FUCK YOU ENGLAND!Secondly,we found an important proof at Estonia's house,with Romania,Bulgaria and Hungary's help.". Some of the countries puffed scornfully when they heard the Bad Neighbours' names. Only Serbia and Moldova were cheering them up:"Yeah!Big brother,miss Hungary and mister Bulgaria are the best!",beamed Romania's little brother."Yeah,Romania,you go,dude!",added the Serb.

"Anyway,let's see what's on this memory stick.",said Germany,while playing the video found on the stick.

Suddenly,on the video tape appeared the poor Estonian,tied to a chair. Everyone gasped shocked:

"P-please…help me!",muttered Estonia."Save me from this damn place!". He turned to the door behind him,which was slowly opening."God,they're back!". Then the video ended. Every country looked at each other intrigued.

"You should do something right now!Who knows what those creepy guys are doing to poor Estonia!",said Ukraine. The other nations agreed with her.

"Of course we'll do something!",replied Germany."From now on,to prove what they can do,I'll let Romania,Hungary and Bulgaria solve the mistery.". Then he turned to the trio,trying to hide his smile and look as serious as possible:"I trust you!"

Everyone was shocked by the German's decision to rely on the Bad Neighbours Trio with this problem.

"Don't worry,Germany!We're not going to disappoint you!",chorused happily the three countries.


	5. Operation:Angry Birds!

**OPERATION:ANGRY BIRDS!**

"Captain Goulash to Sarmale Defender!Our targets are here,as we expected!I repeat,our targets are in the established spot!",said Hungary to Romania,using her walkie-talkie. She was hiding in a corner,as planned.

The Bad Neighbours were in a "mission" at England's house. England was suspected to be the one who kidnapped Estonia and stole Germany's potatoes and Poland's ponies,because at all the recent meetings he was always teasing Germany and acting weird,not to mention some information received from an anonymous source. What's more,the Brit had a meeting with Russia,another suspect.

"Great!Prepare your fry pan!",replied Romania,who was watching the two blonde countries shaking their hands,from the top of England's home."Sarmale Defender to Super Yoghurt Fairy,are you ready for the attack?!I repeat,are you ready?!Bulgaria!"

"Yes,I'm ready!Sorry,but I have some problems with my pants!They are too tight!"

"Oh my God,you chose to wear yoga pants,not me!Anyway,listen!I'll use the Manele Blast to open those damn doors and you and Hungary will attack them!Understand?!"

"Yes,Sarmale Defender!"

"Ok,let's start the operation Angry Birds!",beamed Romania,while getting down to his car,which was parked near the building. Bulgaria already did his job,spraying chloroform to make the bodyguards fall asleep.

The car had two huge speakers,special prepared for this mission. Romania began to search for the perfect CD. He already warned his neighbours to cover their ears,because the music will be really shitty. When he found it,a grin appeared on his face,revealing his sharp fangs:

"They will never know what hit them!",laughed he maliciously,while pushing the play button.

Suddenly,the speakers blasted with manele,the feared manele,Romania's ferocius weapon,from Florin Salam,making the doors thrusting back with such a force,the walls near them began to crack.

Meanwhile,England and Russia didn't know what's going on and where the music came from.

"Bloody hell!Why I feel the urge to...to dance?!Aaargh!My body is moving without the consent of my brain!Russia,do something!"

"Ummm...Sorry,but...I can't!",replied the blonde,who moved helpless.

"NOW!",yelled Romania,while Hungary and Bulgaria burst into the room. The brown haired woman jumped on the Russian,hitting him right in the head,while the Bulgarian punched England.

"What the...Romania,what the hell are you doing here?!Is this a joke!"

Romania bent over England's face and grabbed his chin. Their faces were uncomfortably close. Hungary's green eyes began to sparkle,watching this scene."Oh,my...My yaoi sense is tingling!",thought she.

"The party is over,England!I know you kidnapped Estonia!And stole things from Poland and Germany!Admit it right now and you won't be hurt!"

England burst into a crazy laughter:"Are you fucking kidding me?!I didn't do any of those things!And could you,please,back off?Your mouth smells like garlic."

"Shut up!",shook him Romania."Admit it!And I know this Russian fucker is helping you,because he likes to torment Estonia!"

"No,mr Romania,this is surely a big mistake!I don't torment Estonia,I just like to strech him playfully,that's all!". Hungary hit him again."Liar!Tell the damn truth!"

"Okay,guys,guess that we should take them to Germany and then get a permission to check their houses,if they don't want to admit they're responsible for all this fuss!",said Bulgaria.

"What...Hey,wait,this is a huge missunderstanding!",added Russia,while being dragged by Hungary.

"Who do you think you are to burst in like a bunch of hooligans and do this?!Stop pulling me,you bloody Bulgarian cunt!",grumbled the British,who tried to escape.

Suddenly,Romania's phone began to ring. He hoped it wasn't Moldova who was ringing in this important moment. Luckily,it was just Italy.

"Could you please shut the fuck up?!I'm talking now!",yelled the strawberry blonde nation."Oh,hey,brother Italy,what's up?!"

"Oh,hey!Well,I try to be calm and shit but...GERMANY WAS KIDNAPPED!",shrieked the Italian. Everyone around heard him.

"What?!This can't be true,Italy,are you joking?!"

"Do you think I'm joking?!DO YOU THINK I'M JOKING IN THIS SERIOUS MOMENT?!It's fucking terrible,Romania!What we're going to do now without Germany?!Who is going to...".

Romania closed the call. His face was paller than usual and everyone looked at him in shock.

"Okay,guys,don't panic,but...we're basically fucked right now!",said the nation,with an awkward smile.


	6. An epic battle

**AN "EPIC" BATTLE**

Italy called all the European countries,using their facebook group,for an emergency meeting. The situation was really desperate:first was Estonia and now,the overly manly German.

Of course,after the failed Angry birds operation,England made the Bad Neighbours apologyse in front of the whole Europe. Only Russia didn't do nothing. He said that Romania,Hungary and Bulgaria will see the consequences of their mistake "soon…or later…".

"Okay,ummm,don't panic…We should think about something,hehe…",said Italy,trying to seem as calm as possible,even though inside he was screaming."Every suggestion is welcomed!"

Switzerland rose his hand:"I got one:what if we'll replace Romania,Hungary and Bulgaria with more capable countries?"

"It's not our fault!We were fooled!",replied Hungary."Stop blaming us!We're doing our best!"

Everyone started to yell and point their fingers at Romania and his neighbours,until Moldova hit the table with his fist.

"STOP YELLING AT BIG BROTHER ROMANIA RIGHT NOW!",roared the boy,his lungs almost popping out of his chest. Everyone looked amazed at Moldova. Little they knew that he was,actually,strong. The kid killed an arochs with a mace when he was around 2 or 3 years old and brought its head to home,surprising his big brother and Dacia,their grandmother. That's why on Moldova's flag is an auroch's head.

"Thank you,Moldova!",smiled Italy,relieved that he didn't have to be the one who makes the others shut up."Anyway,I think we should trust Romania,Hungary and Bulgaria. I'm sure that if we give them some time,they'll figure out a way to solve the problem.". Italy looked around."Hey,where is France?He should replace Germany."

"Pff,typical!The frog is surely drinking his bloody wine and admiring himself in the mirror or just posing in underwear for Instagram.",sneered England.

"Oh,so you are stalking France on Instagram?",giggled Belgium. England glared at her.

"Hmmm…That's weird,don't you think?",whispered Bulgaria to Romania and Hungary.

"Bulgaria,we're talking about my big brother,he's weird anyway!I think we should go now. Hungary,since my car is again in service,I think we should use yours instead!"

"What?!No!Not if you're driving it!I won't let you destroy my car with your shitty driving!"

Romania rolled his red eyes:"Fine!You'll drive!Even though you're not as fast as me…Anyway,guys,we have to go to Germany's house right now!"

The three countries slid out of the meeting room and got in Hungary's car. Romania accidentally sat on a weird manga,with two guys cuddling with each other:

"What the…Hungary,what the hell is this?!Don't tell me you're reading…". She snatched the manga embarrassed from the Romanian:"Why you like stiking your nose in others'bussiness,you filhy piece of shit?". Romania gaped at her:"Hungary,you need Jesus…"

While they were on the way to Germany's house,they began talking about random things:

"Last night I got a terrible dream. Someone stole all my yoghurt provisions,like they did with Germany's potatoes.",told Bulgaria.

"Last night I dreamed that you were flirting again with girls from my house. I hope it didn't happen.". Bulgaria smiled awkwardly,while covering a lipstick trace with his shirt's collar. Hungary noticed that and winked.

"STOP THE CAR RIGHT NOW!"

The countries stopped as the voice,with a strong German accent,told them to do so. Romania got out to see what's going on. They were always letting the Romanian solve the "traffic problems",since he was so good at cursing and arguing with other drivers.

"Are you stupid or something?!We're in the middle of an important mission and you stopped us!"

Romania gasped shocked when he saw who was the guy in front of him. Hungary and Bulgaria also got out of the car.

"Prussia?!What the fuck are you doing here?",asked him Hungary,preparing her fry pan.

The white haired guy smirked:"I'm afraid the awesome me can't let you go to my brother's house."

"Oh,yeah?Just read on my lips:GET. THE. FUCK. OUT. OF. OUR. WAY!",replied she. When Bulgaria tried to pass near Prussia,he grabbed his arm."I repeat:the awesome me won't let any of you losers go to my brother's house!We were ordered to do so!"

"We?Who we?",asked him Romania. When he turned around,he saw France and Spain.

"Honhonhon!What a surprise to find my little brother Roumanie with his friends!"

"Hey!I'm not Romania's friend!",grumbled Hungary.

France laughed scornful:"Okay,I think it's time for you to grab your toys and leave us alone. We have stuff to do."

"Please don''t take this out of context!",added Spain.

Romania stepped in front of France:"And what if we don't?I'm not anymore that little boy who used to worship you like a God!"

"Honhonhon!As I expected!Spain,Prussia!Take care of Hungry and Buttgaria!Honhon,I'm so funny I even gave you names!I'll give my baby brother a lesson!"

And the fight began:Hungary tried to hit Prussia with her fry pan,but he avoided her. Spain was throwing rotten tomatoes after Bulgaria,while yelling "Puta madre!". Romania and France were fighting with rollerpins:

"Give up,Roumanie!I'm stronger than you!You should listen to your big brother!"

Romania hit his hand agry with the rollerpin,making France dropping his on the ground. Then,the strawberry blonde grabbed the French's neck and began choking him.

"Retreat!Retreat now,Bad Touch Trio!",yelled France. At first,Spain and Prussia looked confused at him,but followed France anyway. They got in their black jeep and left away.

"Come back here,motherfuckers!I didn't manage to beat your ass!",yelled Romania.

"Suck it,lo-!",tried to reply Prussia,but Hungary threw her fry pan and hit him right in the head.

"Hmph!What a bunch of idiots!At least we know who is behind all this thing!"

"I think they're still planning something.",said Bulgaria,while rubbing his chin."Anyway,let's go home,I'm hungry."

"Me too.",added Hungary,feeling her stomach growling.

"Hehe!Looks like we have a hungry Hungarian here!",winked Romania.

"Make that joke one more time and I'll kill you…Romehnia!"

Meanwhile,France,Prussia and Spain were in front of their "leader":

"Everything is exactly as we planned."

The mysterious leader grinned:"They will never know what hit them!Soon,I'll have the whole Europe under my boot!"


	7. Another epic battle

**ANOTHER "EPIC" BATTLE**

"I can't believe France,Prussia and Spain are behind all these!",exclaimed Italy,shocked.

Romania grinned satisfied:"See?We aren't the bad guys after all…And we did our job,I can say!"

The countries gathered again for a meeting,after the Bad Neighbours Trio discovered who are the convicts. Everyone was intrigued by the fact that France,Prussia and Spain could do something so terrible.

"Yeah,if you did your job,why you didn't catch them?",asked Austria,trying to be mean.

"They ran away. Exactly when Romania was choking the shit out of France.",replied Bulgaria."Anyway,I think they aren't the only ones,because they mentioned something about orders,so they have a leader,actually. It's a matter of time when we'll catch him or her as well."

Italy rubbed his head:"But why would Prussia kidnap his own brother?It doesn't make any sense…"

"I'm sure he has some sick interests. Let's not forget he's Prussia,after all.",said Hungary."Anyway,we will inform you if something new appears."

After the meeting was done and the trio was leaving,Turkey called them:

"Hey,kids,what's up?",asked them cheerfully the Turkish man."You gained a lot of attention lately.". He hugged them.

"Stop acting like you're our dad,Turkey!We're independent now!",grumbled Bulgaria,trying to escape from Turkey's embrace.

"But I saw you growing up,why you have to be so mean!?Yes,I did pretend you to pay me taxes and fought you a lot,but I treat you like my own kids after all!"

"Skip it,Turkey!What do you want?!",interrupted him Romania."I know you also want to be in the spot light,like us…"

Turkey laughed and ruffled Romania's hair:"Don't be silly,Wallachia!Or should I call you Wallie,like I used to…I just wanted to tell you that if you're in trouble with this or just need some help,you should call me!''

"And tag you on Facebook?",asked him Hungary. Turkey shook his head,approving."If you do this,I promise I'll make you some shawarma or kebab!". When he heard shawarma,Romania's eyes began to sparkle with gut. "Alright,alright…We'll tag you on Facebook!Are you happy now?"

"Ohooo,more than happy!Anyway,have a nice day!And,oh,Romania!Don't forget to brush your teeth!"

"Hey,stop saying that,you're not my grandma to tell me what to do!",grumbled the Romanian,while Hungary and Bulgaria were giggling behind him.

Two minutes later,they were in a pub,talking about what they're going to do next.

"Hey,I got an e-mail!",said Bulgaria. "It's from…France?!"

Hungary and Romania got closer to the Bulgarian:"Uuuu let us see!",chorused the two countries.

The blackhaired guy cleared his troat and began to read:"Bonjour,losers!You know,we told you about a two weeks term,in which we can negotiate the fate of the Estonian and,lately,of the German. Now,that the two weeks passed,I think we should meet again to talk. Find us at the stadium. Kisses!". As he finished reading,they were already rushing to the negotiation place. The building,where the European meetings were usually held,had everything they needed:from pubs,where you could smoke in peace,to a large football stadium,so the countries could play a good football match after the boring meetings.

When they finally arrived,Romania,Hungary and Bulgaria found France,Prussia and Spain smirking at them.

"Looks like the losers are here!",greeted them Prussia. Hungary showed him her middle finger.

"So…We are here!Let's negotiate!",said Romania. France cluked,hearing him.

"Roumanie,don't hurry up!Let us explain you what the negotiation's rules are about."

"Sure,I'm all ears!Then,I'll beat your ass again!"

"Don't be so sure,brother.",said Spain."You won't have a single chance against us,because…we will play a football match!'

Romania,Hungary and Bulgaria looked at him,open-mouthed:"WHAT?!". Spain smiled and continued:"If you win,we will give you back Estonia and Germany. If you don't…it's obvious we will still keep them. "

"And another thing!",added Prussia."You must be four in the team. Because of that,you can call somebody to help you. Since our team is already awesome,we will add somebody as awesome as us!". Spain pushed Germany in front of his mates.

"Germany!",exclaimed the Bad Neighbours,shocked. The German looked so bad. His face was in a sick shade of white and he seemed to be very tired.

"We will give you some time to decide who you'll call to join you!Ahh,look!We even have a cheerleader here!",said France,while pointing at poor Estonia,who was dressed in a pink crop top with the initials of Bad Touch Trio and a pink mini-skirt. Estonia looked as bad as Germany. He was forced to yell "Go Bad Touch Trio!" and "Suck it,Eastern Europeans scums!". But Romania and his neighbours didn't pay too much attention to that.

Hungary,Romania and Bulgaria gathered around and began to talk:

"I'm afraid we won't be able to win!I mean,they have Germany and Prussia,who won the world cup!",worried Bulgaria.

"Shush!Don't be so pessimistic!I know the right person we should call!",smirked Romania.

"Oh,no…Don't tell me you're going to call…",added Hungary.

"Yes!It's Serbia!"

"NOT THAT ASSHOLE!",cried Bulgaria."Don't you have someone else to call?Even Moldova is a better option!"

"I can't believe I have to say this,but Romania is right. Serbia is a good option. He's very wild and,I can say,bold. He'll surely intimidate them with his Balkan attitude. But I have another question:can we choose a cheerleader?"

"Of course,Hungary!Of,course!",said Romania,while rubbing his chin and smiling evilish.

"Why I couldn't play instead of being the cheerleader?",complained Turkey,who was dressed like a belly dancer. He didn't know what to wear and he also had to hurry.

"You wanted to help us,so don't cry like a baby!",replied Hungary."Plus,you're too old to run around."

"Yeah,she's right,Kebab!",said Serbia,while putting his arm around Hungary's shoulders. She slapped him:"Don't touch me,you ass!"

The teams were formed:Bulgaria and Prussia were the goalkeepers,while the others had to defend the goal against their rivals.

"Let's start this shit!",said Romania.

"Oui,Roumanie!Let's start!

France took the ball from his little brother and passed it to Spain. Hungary and Serbia tried to stop the Spanish,who was avoiding them easily,like they were some random objects in his way. He passed the ball to Germany,who hit it with such a force,that was sursprising for somebody who was kept captive for so much time. Bulgaria didn't manage to catch it and the Bad Touch team scored.

"Yay!",shouted Estonia bored."You suck,you suck!"

The ball began to be passed again from one country to another. Spain was moving like a thunder,until Serbia,in his try to steal the ball,tripped him. The Spanish guy fell on the ground,grabbing his leg.

"Pff!You're such a pussy!",snickered the Serb."This happens when you mess with me!".

"Don't be so happy,Balkan boy!",added France."We gained a free kick because of your arrogance!"

"If they kick,I swear I'll kill you,fucking Serb!",hissed Hungary,while grouping with him and Romania in front of the goal for the free kick. Bulgaria was sweating nervous,while waiting for France to hit the damn ball. "Hit it already!",yelled Bulgaria,who ran out of patience.

"As you wish!". France kicked the ball as hard as he could,managing to pass through Romania,Hungary and Serbia's defending fence. Bulgaria nearly caught it,but it slipped between his fingers.

"Fuck it!",cussed Romania,angry."We're losing!". Prussia,France and Spain were highfiving happily.

Luckily,they had a short break before the next round. Romania,Hungary,Bulgaria and Serbia were all demoralized.

"If it wasn't you,Serbia,they wouldn't score again!",grumbled Bulgaria."You're such an idiot!"

"At least I can catch a fucking ball,unlike you,dumbass!",replied the Serb. He and the Bulgarian were throwing thunders at each other with their eyes.

"Calm down,guys!We should think about something!"

"It's only your fault,Romania!You wanted to bring the stinky Serb here!",said Hungary.

"Oh,yeah?!Then why the fuck you agreed with me?!Because you're dumber,that's why!"

In the room was a big fuss,because everyone was literally screaming at each other.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP ALL OF YOU!",stopped them Turkey. The four countries in front of him burst in laughter,seeing Turkey dressed as bellydancer."Yeah,yeah,laugh,you little shits,but we all know that you're the most ridiculous in this room!Why you can't get along as in the times when you tried to kick me out?You were more united back then!So,what I'm trying to say is to get your ass on the stadium and beat the shit out of them right fucking now!"

Romania got up solemnly and placed his hand in the middle of the group."Come on,guys!Let's show them what we can!If you're with me,place your hand over mine!". Serbia smiled and did as his neighbour said. Bulgaria put on his hand after him and then the three of them looked at Hungary. She rolled her eyes,muffling an irked "FINE" and put her hand over the others'.

"Let's kick their asses!",beamed them while getting back on the playground. Turkey smiled proud and whipped a tear from his cheek.

The Bad Neighbours glared hatefully at their rivals."This time we're not going to lose!",said Romania,while facing France."Honhon,say what you want,but…". The French man couldn't finish his sentence,because Romania took away the ball from him. Spain and Germany were chasing the Romanian,who gave the balon further to Hungary. She passed it to Serbia,who kicked right in Prussia's goal.

"Hahaha!Go,my babies,go!",exclaimed Turkey,while waving his pompons.

Romania's team scored again,making equal with France and the others. This was their chance to win. Romania held a long fight with his big brother over the ball,but he took it anyway and passed it to Serbia. Then,the Serb gave it to Hungary.

France made a sign to Germany to trip Hungary. Even though he didn't want to do that,he had to trip her. The Hungarian fell on the ground,being badly wounded. She let a painfully groan out.

"Are you fucking insane?!Why you made Germany hit her,frog?!",grumbled Romania,while grabbing France's colar. Bulgaria and Prussia split them,before another fight would've started.

"Romania,please,in the name of our enmity…",whispered the Hungarian."KICK THEIR SORRY ASS!"

He replied with a smirk. "Of course,my dear neighbour!". France,Spain and Germany formed the defense fence. Romania was in front of them,with the ball. Serbia,Bulgaria,Hungary and Turkey were watching him with impatience,praying that he'll score."

"In the name of Dacia and sarmale,I'm going to beat you!",yelled the strawberry blonde,hitting the balon right in the goal,scoring again. Turkey shouted happily,while Serbia and Bulgaria were carrying Romania with excitement on their shoulders.

"Now that we won,I think it's time to release Estonia and Germany right now!"

France laughed scornful:"Sorry,but we are afraid we can't do that!Prussia,Spain!Take our prisoners and let's leave!"

"But you fucking promised!",said Romania,while grabbing his brother's arm. The French snatched his hand away and kicked Romania in the stomach.

"You know,nothing is fair in war!Such a pit you had to learn it in the hard way!",winked the blonde nation,while leaving. ''Au revoir!"


	8. Cyber war

**CYBER WAR**

It was a peaceful day at Romania's house. He had nothing important to do,except the lunch.

Romania made himself comfortable on the bed and checked his Facebook. He needed a break,after those agitated days.

"God,I'm wondering when Turkey will stop tagging everyone...He's such an attention whore…I'm amazed that an old guy like him knows how to use Facebook.". Suddenly,Romania's laptop stopped and a weird video appeared. It was with France,only in animal printed underwear,laying on the sofa and whispering seductively "Omelette au fromage". After this,his computer stopped working. The strawberry blonde thanked God Moldova wasn't around to see this atrocity.

His phone began ringing. It was Bulgaria:

"Oh my God,Romania,you won't believe what happened!My laptop stopped and it showed a video of Spain's ass,moving in slow motion!I want to bleach my eyes right now!"

"Something similar happened to me,but with freaking France!He was in his underwear,whispering omelette au fromage,like WHAT THE FUCK?!Oh,oh,Hungary's calling me!I'll be right back!Hey,Hun-hun,what's wrong?!"

"First of all,don't call me like that!Secondly,I think the God is testing my nerves!I've just seen an abomination,after my computer stopped working!It was…it was a video with Prussia,dressed in Borat's swimsuit,while dancing on Anaconda!"

"What the hell…Something is wrong,really wrong…I'll call Italy for a meeting!"

After an hour,Italy,Romania,Bulgaria,Hungary and the countries who represented the Southern,Eastern,Northern and Western regions of Europe came for a meeting.

"It is horrible!I'll have nightmares after I saw that video of France singing the soundtrack from Titanic.",cried Finland who was the representant of Nothern Europe.

"Guess that the videos are different. For example,I've seen Prussia eating seductively a raw potato.",said Russia,the representant of Eastern Europe."It wasn't that bad!". For a guy like Russia who posts crazy shit on Youtube it was something normal.

"I pretty much liked the video of Spain gardening naked. I'm thinking about doing this as well.",added Greece,while the others stared in shock at him."Why are you looking at me like that?Everyone should feel good in their own skin."

England cleared his troat and continued,trying to change the subject:

"Anyway,I think we were hacked. I'm sure they forced Estonia to do this. I'm glad that my laptop is okay now,after the video almost destroyed it. Smoke was coming out of the poor thing..."

"Who should help us,if Estonia isn't here?",asked Italy."Who is good at computers and IT shit?"

"Ummm…America?",replied Hungary."I don't know somebody else."

"Oh,bloody hell,don't call him!I think only us,the European countries,should solve this problem!"

"Sorry England,but we have no other choice.",said Italy.

"Call America!I have a cool idea!",smirked Romania."Captain Goulash,Super Yoghurt Fairy!Follow me!And,oh,tell America that I have to talk to him later!". Hungary and Bulgaria followed the Romanian,leaving Italy,Greece,Russia,England and Finland alone.

It didn't take a long time for America to arrive. Of course,he had to make his entrance through the window,while yelling "THE HERO IS HERE!". America didn't care that his forehead was bleeding from the grandious appearance.

"Why I have to be surrounded by idiots?!",mumbled England,while facepalming.

"So what's the problem?I heard you were hacked!How it comes that the mighty European countries can't deal with such a minor problem?"

"Could you please shut up and do your job?",replied Greece,in his calm voice."I don't know about you guys ,but I want to sleep.". Then,the Greek just pulled a pillow out of nowhere and began sleeping on a chair,next to Finland,who was playing Candy Crush.

"Don't worry guys!The hero will solve your problem as fast as possible!"

After two hours,America was finally done. He was sweating and his blue eyes felt tired. Italy had to feed the blonde with hamburgers to keep him up from not falling exhausted. Hard job to fight against hackers like Estonia!But him,the powerful and freedom giver,managed to save the Europe,the Earth,the Galaxy and the whole Universe from the evil forces! ***passage dramatized by America to make himself look cool and badass***

"Dude,I think I'll have to leave!"

"Wait a second!Romania said he has to tell you something. Call him!",said Russia,being the only one to remember what the Romanian asked before leaving with Hungary and Bulgaria.

"Okay…",sighed America. He took his iPhone and called Romania."Dude,Dracula,what's up?!Oh,you sent me something on email?Yeah,sure I can do that!No problem,dude!The hero is here to rescue!Byee!"

"So,what told you Romania?",asked him Finland,finally wining after 50 rounds of continuously playing Candy Crush.

"Woah,he has crazy ideas!Just stay here with me and watch,kids!",replied America. The nations gathered around him and watched the American working on his laptop.

Somewhat later,France,Spain and Prussia were savouring the results of their glorious plan.

"That was awesome!Our boss had a great idea to kidnap that unawesome Estonian!"

"Oh,oui!Let's check their facebook page,to see the reactions!",giggled France. Prussia came closer to look with him. Spain was posting a new selfie on Instagram.

Suddenly,both France's PC and Spain's smartphone stopped working and on their screen a video of Romania,Hungary and Bulgaria,dressed all in Adidas tracksuits,appeared. On the background was playing "I'm a boss ass bitch".

"Oh,no!What are those barbarians doing?!",cried Frace desperate,while seeing the Bad Neighbours jumping on a baguette filled with potatoes and tomatoes."MY BAGUETTE!" Spain and Prussia were already in tears,seeing the poor potatoes and tomatoes crushed under Hungary's and Bulgaria's boots.

"Aaand that's how we're doing sandwhiches in Eastern Europe,bitches!Bon appetit!",winked Romania at the end of the video. Pairs of "deal with it glasses" appeared on his,Hungary's and Bulgaria's faces."Oh,and I forgot to say:don't you ever dare to hack us again,motherfuckers!"

 **Hello,guys!Sorry if this chapter was shitty or too rushed :(**


	9. The break up

**THE BREAK UP**

Bulgaria was sitting comfortably at a table in the cafeteria,sipping some tea from his cup. He was scanning with his jade green eyes the countries around:the Nordics,who seemed so focused on Finland's story,and Switzerland with . Liechtenstein,eating together quietly. Then his eyes fell on the waitress's mini skirt,which was so short you could see her underwears. Bulgaria blushed,while thinking about,you know…things,until a certain Romanian burst in,looking like he stepped on a lego. Hungary followed him.

"I can't believe you laughed at that thing!I thought we were…we were friends!",snapped the strawberry blonde,glaring at Hungary.

"Friends?!WE?!",puffed the Hungarian."That's stupid!We aren't friends,dummie!Of course I laughed when they called you a gypsy!"

Romania turned to Hungary,seeming even more offended. Bulgaria knew that his neighbour hated to be called like that. He hated to be called like that as well. Wealthy countries like Austria or even Netherlands were calling Romania and Bulgaria gypsies.

"Okay,guys,stop!We should fight together,not against each other!",interrupted them Bulgaria.

"Shut up,Bulgaria!",growled Romania at him."I hate you,fucking bitch!You even claimed that you did all the work,while we all worked together to fight the Bad Touch Trio!"

"And what are you trying to say,that it wasn't true,you fucking stinky Wallachian?!"

Romania and Hungary gave each other death stares,until she snapped:

"You know what?!I think that I should catch the freacks by myself,since I'm surrounded by idiots like you!So…I'm leaving the Bad Neighbours Trio!You can do what you want!"

"Go ahead,do it!We don't need you anyway,you arrogant bitch!"

When she was on point of leaving,Bulgaria grabbed her arm,asking Hungary to think more before doing that,but she responded by snatching her arm from black haired guy's grasp,muttering "Fucking gypsies…"

"I'm leaving too…",said Romania."They keep making fun of me,even though I tried my best to prove them I'm not a loser. Just…fuck that!"

"Oh,come on,bro!You're ridiculous!Now you're the pessimistic one!"

"They keep calling me a gyspy!And that cunt was laughing along with them,instead of taking my side!Let her do all the work by herself,if that's what she wants!Bye!",replied the Romanian,leaving the room like a hurricane. Bulgaria hit angry a random chair,thinking that after finally feeling useful,he had to return to his shadowy corner.

Somewhat later,Hungary was driving alone to fight the Bad Touch Trio,after she received a call that they're in the zone. She stopped at an abandoned building,in the middle of an empty field.

Hungary thought she could handle the things by herself,without any help,especially Romania's and Bulgaria's. She still couldn't believe how silly Romania was to believe that they were friends,this thought making her giggle.

"So here she is…". Hungary turned around,only to see France,Prussia and Spain smirking at her."Where are your friends,Hun-hun?",asked her Prussia.

"I don't need them!I can do everything without any help!And…",she said,while pulling out her fry pan,"if you call me one more time Hun-hun,I'll beat the shit out of you!"

They began laughing scornfully."She thinks she could intimidate us!"

"Back off!",replied Hungary,seeing that they were walking in her direction."Don't make me…WAAAAAAHH!". She woke up in a cage,after it fell over her. They set a trap.

"You look less scarry when you're afraid!",said France,grabbing her chin."Now let's see who's going to save you,Hun-hun!"

Hungary was hitting the cage,struggling to find a way to escape. However,it was useless. France,Spain and Prussia were only laughing at her efforts.

"Wait until our boss will see her!",beamed Spain.

"Yeah,bring him on to beat his ass as well!",yelled Hungary. But when he turned and saw the mysterious boss,she remained speechless."You…"

 **Hello there!I'm really,really sorry if this chapter came out as crappy,but I have a hard time right now in my life (just some personal problems) and didn't have much inspiration. I promise I'll come with a better work once all the issues that are bothering me will end.**

 **~pretzel**


	10. Back in bussiness

**BACK IN BUSSINESS**

"God damn it,this stinks like shit!",cried Hungary,while cleaning the ponny poop. Now that she was kept as a prisoner,the Bad Touch Trio thought it would be fun to make her do some "chores". Prussia was supervising her.

"Of course it stinks like shit,you unawesome dummie!It's ponny poop,after all!Now stop complaining and work!". Hungary glared at him,but she knew that she couldn't do much. It's been a week since she's kept here. Prussia,when Hungary didn't look,took a photo of her and put it on Snapchat,with the caption "Shhh!My girl is working hard!"

Meanwhile,Bulgaria was looking for Romania. He didn't see him since the break up of the Bad Neighbours Trio and he was hoping the group will reunite again. Also,Bulgaria was worried about Hungary,who was missing.

The blackhaired nation finally find the Romanian in the "Balkan Pub",where he was drinking some rakija with Serbia. God,not Serbia!

"Hey look,it's my bro,Bulgaria!",greeted him Romania,who seemed to be pretty drunk.

"I though that I was your bro,not that loser!",added Serbia,frowning.

"Romania,we need to talk right now!Just the two of us!",said Bulgaria,firmly.

"Say what you got to say here,don't be shy!"

"But I don't want that fucking drunktard to hear what I'm going to told you!",replied Bulgaria,pointing at Serbia,who began laughing."Look at that Bulgarian,hahahaha!"

Bulgaria rolled his eyes and pulled Romania away from Serbia. He dragged the strawberry blonde in a quiet place.

"So…what's so important?",asked Romania,while lighting a cigarette."Want one?"

"Yes,please.". After they both lighted their cigarettes,Bulgaria began:"First of all,STOP HANGING OUT WITH SERBIA!Secondly,Hungary disappeared."

"Oh my God,this is the best thing I've heard in a while!Jesus,thank you Satan returned to the depts. of hell!". When Romania tried to hug Bulgaria,he pushed him gently away.

"No,Romania,that's bad!Really bad!I think we should go and find out what happened with her. After all,we're a team!"

"No thank you!I don't want to see her anymore!Forget about it,Bulgaria!You're talking to the wrong person.". Bulgaria grabbed his arm.

"Why do you have to hate each other?!I know you two can be friends!You always end talking friendly to each other!Come on,Romania!I know deep down you care and you're as worried as me!And don't forget we promised Germany that we'll work together and prove we aren't a bunch of idiots!". Suddenly,his telephone started to gleam."Wait a second,I think I have a note. It's a new snap from Prussia!That guy is exactly like Turkey,obsessed with social media!"

"What?!Let me see!Oh my Gosh!Is that….Hungary?!Bahahahahahhaha!And she's cleaning some poop!",burst into laughter Romania."Wait a second…Why is Prussia calling her his girl?!"

"I don't know!Let's just go and save her!". Bulgaria turned to him."Romania!I said,let's go!"

The Romanian rolled his red eyes,sighed and followed his friend. They got in Bulgaria's car and drove to Hungary's house,hoping they'll find something to guide them to the place where she was kept.

"Why called Prussia Hungary his girl?!She isn't his girl!"

"Why this bothers you so much?!",asked Bulgaria,smirking."Are you…"

"DON'T EVEN SAY THAT!I'm just thinking how she'll react hearing him calling her like that,okay?!"

"Okay,whatever makes you sleep at night…."

They finally arrived at her house in Budapest. It was very clean inside,compared to what they've seen at Estonia's. Everything was perfectly ordered on shelves and a nice scent of apples was flooding their nostrils. Hungary left her smartphone on the sofa. The guys were shocked that somebody could forget their mobile when leaving.

"Look,she got a call. It's from an unknwon number."

"That's one big mistake!You should never answer to unknown numbers!",said Bulgaria.

"It's Hungary,what do you expect?!She's always doing stupid things!Now,how the hell we're going to figure out where is she?!"

Bulgaria turn around and saw a tiny piece of paper,where Hungary wrote the location.

"Look what I've found!And as I see,the place isn't too far…"

"Then what are we waiting for?!Let's go!"

The two nations rushed to the car. There was no time to waste. Bulgaria was happy that he convinced Romania,who didn't want to admit that he finally felt accomplished again,as before the break up. Hold on,Hungary!The boys are coming to rescue you!


	11. A surprinsgly guest or saviour

**A SURPRINSINGLY GUEST...OR SAVIOUR**

France's annoying laugh could've been heard outside,along with Prussia. Hungary was thinking about which of them has the most punchable face. At least,Spain was the most tolerable out of them three and he was cooking for them. Hungary looked around. She was kept in the same cage with Germany and Estonia. They both seemed to be so depressed and didn't speak that much. She sighed. Even though she didn't want to admit it,Hungary missed that Wallachian asshole and his weird Bulgarian friend. With the two of them she could finally release her true tom-boyish self and tell stupid jokes at which Romania would laugh. Hungary liked when Romania was laughing at her silly jokes. Wait,did she actually thought about that?!

Suddenly,a loud "BAM!" and Bad Touch Trio's cursing words interrupted her thoughts. Did…did Romania and Bulgaria came after her?

"Back off,motherfuckers!We need our Satan back!",barked Romania. Yes,the boys were here. Estonia and Germany prick up their ears,alongside Hungary,to hear what's going on.

Meanwhile,Romania and Bulgaria were giving France,Prussia and Spain death stares.

"What,big brother?You can't believe that I'm here?! I couldn't let you and big brother Spain having all the fun.",said Romania to France.

"You party poopers!Prussia,Spain!Let's beat their Balkan asses!"

"Go Romania,go Bulgaria!",cheered them up Hungary."Make me proud!"

Bulgaria was waving his wood-stick like a true ninja,while Romania pulled out his roller-pin. France prepared his baguette and Spain his rotten tomatoes. Prussia was watching over the prisoners.

The fight began. It was literally a chaos,exactly like the fight where Romania and Hungary took sides with Serbia and Croatia,in their first failed mission.

"I hate you,Roumanie!I began hating you since you,Portugal and Romano didn't agree with having our own reality show,"Keeping up with Rome's grandsons"!"

"Well,at least I'm not a back stabbing brother,like you!",replied Romania,trying to hit France,who managed to avoid his roller-pin.

After a while,Romania and Bulgaria fell tired in front of France and Spain. This fight was surely an exhausting one!

"Awww,this reminds me when we were little and we used to fight with pillows!How cute you were when you were younger,Romania!",beamed Spain."Too bad we have to put you in a cage now and show you to our boss!Prussia,you know what to do!"

"Hell yeah!". Prussia just pushed a button and a large cage fell over Bulgaria and Romania. Seeing this,Hungary,Germany and Estonia lost their hope. "Sir!Come here to see what we captured!"

"Of course!". Romania and Bulgaria turned around to face the mysterious boss,who was…

"MOLDOVA?!",gasped shocked the Romanian,while Bulgaria almost had a heart attack. "I can't believe you…"

The boy rolled his eyes:"Yeah,yeah,leave this for later,big brother!Anyway,I'm glad you could come over here,to see how I'll conquer the whole Europe!". Moldova tried to laugh evilly,but he failed doing so.

"How have you convinced the Bad Touch Trio to help you though?",asked Bulgaria,raising an eye brow. "I'm curious!"

"Well…", Moldova flipped a one of his wild pieces of hair."That's because I'm ridiculously cute. It was easy with France and Spain,since they like me more than you,Romania,and with Prussia I didn't need to do anything special to convince him. They also joined me because they felt put in a shadowy corner. I started to feed Poland's ponnies with German potatoes,since they're the secret of Germany's strength and manliness. I'll use them to invade the Europe and I'm going to hack every server with videos of my cuteness to brainwash everyone!Cool,don't you think?!"

"You're not my little brother…"

"Haha!Too bad I don't care about what you say!". Moldova turned to the Bad Touch Trio:"Guys,take Estonia and let's beggin the mass brainwashing!"

"Yes,sir!". Prussia and Spain dragged Estonia out,despite his protests. Bulgaria looked desperate at his neighbour:"Romania,do something before it's too late!It's your freacking little brother!"

"Gosh,let me think!",grumbled Romania anxious.

"Come on,you asshole do something!",yelled Hungary.

"Romania,I count on you!",said Germany."I'm sure you won't disappoint us!"

"OH MY GOD,SHUT UP,I CAN'T THINK!",replied the strawberry blonde,while massaging his temples. Then he remembered something."Oh,I know exactly what to do!",smirked he,while pulling out a little talisman,in the shape of the Dacian drako.

"Romania,this isn't the time to bring back the memories of your late grandma!",grumbled Hungary.

"Shut up,bitch!I'm trying to focus here!". The Romanian began murmuring some kind of spell,under Bulgaria,Germany and Hungary's worried looks.

"O ceapă mică,trei morcovi și o linguriță de vegeta,exact cum punea și bunica în ciorbă. O,prea mărită Dacia,vino printre noi chiar ACUM!"

The entire room was filled with a dense mist for a minute,until it disappeared and the figure of a short woman,with long strawberry blonde hair and piercing blue eyes was revealed. Everyone around was dumbfounded.

"Okay,what did Moldova do this time?!",asked Dacia,while looking around."Are you sweeties alright?!"

"Oh,grandma,please,help us get out!",begged Romania.

"Of course,sweetie!",smiled the beautiful Dacian woman,while pushing the same button Prussia used to lock them. When she saw herself eliberated,Hungary ran and kissed Romania's cheek.

"What the fuck?!Get away from me,Magyar!",mumbled the Romanian. Bulgaria winked at them and Germany stared in confusion.

"Okay,guys!Let's surprise them bitches!",beamed Bulgaria,while running to the room where Moldova and his minions were in.

"How you even got out?!",gasped Moldova,when seeing the four nations in front of the door.

"Because of me.",said firmly Dacia,while stepping in front of them."I thought I raised you better than the grandmas of the other Romanic nations did."

"Grandma,please!Let me explain!",said Moldova,making puppy eyes and trying to look as cute as possible. He didn't impress Dacia,though. She was still glaring at her grandson with her piercing blue eyes.

"You,Mr Nicolae Basarab,also known as the Republic of Moldova,are grounded!Now go back to your house and think about what you did!While you little pricks…",said she,turning to France,Spain and Prussia,"you must apologyse in front of the whole Europe for what you did,before I'm going to spank your sorry asses!Understand?!"

"Y-yes,ma'am!",chorused the Bad Touch Trio,trembling. Oficially,they were afraid of Romania and Moldova's grandmother.

Dacia sighed and looked at Romania:"Guess that I did my job here!Now I'll return to my place in heaven…and I'll kick Rome's ass because he taught the kids bad things!Bye,sweeties!"

"Bye,grandma!I'll miss you!",said the Romanian,while weeping a tear. Dacia did the same and disappeared.

"Woah,Romania,I can't believe you actually called your grandmother!",said Germany,amazed.

"Eh,that's a little trick…She told me to call her whenever I'm in trouble. Anyway,let's take all these motherfuckers and go home!I'm tired!"

 **Wait,wait!This isn't the end,guys!Anyway,if you want to know,Dacia is Romania and Moldova's grandmother from their mother's side. Hope you enjoyed this chapter,hehe!I couldn't hold myself from putting some RoHun here!**


	12. The end

**THE END**

The life in Europe regained its normal course after the Bad Touch Trio and Moldova were finally caught. Moldova apologysed for what he did and kept staying grounded in his house,as Dacia said when she was summouned by Romania. France and Spain were forced to be cleaners. England was purposely dirtying around,only to laugh at the French man who came quickly to clean back. Prussia was isolated in Germany's basement,without his laptop or smartphone.

The European nations held a party for the Bad Neighbours Trio,as an award. Of course,the party couldn't start without Germany's speech:

"To be honest,I've always regarded Romania and Bulgaria as a bunch of dorks who are good for nothing and Hungary as a weird woman with a thing for fry pans,but they proved me wrong. Actually,those countries are cool,friendly and...hardworking.",said Germany,who gave Romania,Bulgaria and Hungary a genuinely smile."Thank you for saving me and the whole Europe!I know you want to start this party,but I think we should let our heroes speak."

He gave them his microphone. Romania took it first.

"Aham!Ladies first!",said Hungary,trying to snatch the microphone from the strawberry blonde.

"When I'll see one,I'll give it to her." . Of course,they began arguing. Bulgaria rolled his eyes,took the microphone and cleared his throat:

"Sorry about my team mates!What can I say...it was all colective effort,but,to be honest,I was the brain of our operations!I don't know what those guys would've done without me...Too bad Romania and Hungary are too busy with fighting now to hear me,hehe!Thanks for the attenion and LET'S START THE FUCKING PARTY!WOOOOHOOO!". As everyone applaused them,Bulgaria dragged Hungary and Romania away from the scene.

Everyone was dancing and having a good time. Russia was dancing with a bottle of vodka,while being stalked by Belarus. Of course,the Baltic nations were forced to join him. England almost broke his neck while trying a new dance move,to prove he isn't an old-school twat and the Balkan nations were,for once,not arguing with each other and actually enjoying the party. Bulgaria was dancing wildly with Belgium and Monaco.

Romania was drinking his wine glass quietly. He was happy that Poland apologysed for believing he stole his ponies.

"Hmmm...It's not normal for you to be this quiet...",said Hungary,while joining him.

"Ehhh...I have my moments...". Romania was surpised to see Hungary holding out her hand for him,while smiling in a weird way.

"Erm...R-romania...W-wanna dance?"

At first,he was shocked by her offer,but didn't refuse. "Sure!",smirked Romania,while grabbing her hand. Everyone was surprise to see them two dancing.

Finally,the things were back to normal.

 **BACK TO ENGLAND...**

"Ughh...I finally managed to finish this comic book...Not bad,America,not bad...",sighed England,while closing America's creation.

"Dude,England!",beamed the American."How it was?!Do you think I'll have a chance to win the contest?!"

"Ummm...To be honest...yes...I liked it.". America bear-hugged England,while smiling excited.

"Get away from me!",grumbled England."Anyway,you were pretty informed about those countries,especially Romania. Tell me,what's your secret?"

America turned around to a blonde girl,with brown eyes and hipster like eye-glasses,who was cleaning the tables,while listening to music in her headphones.

"She's my secret!Yo,Alex,came here!". The girl came to them.

"Did you call?You know,I can't hear you...",said Alex,with a slightly Romanian accent. America put his arm around her shoulders friendly.

"She helped me!Alex,England said that he liked the comic!"

"That's great!",smiled Alex."Oh,and America...don't forget what I told you to do..."

America winked at her:"Don't worry about that thing,dudette!". After she got back to her work,England was curious to know what Alex asked America to do for her.

"Tell me,what she wants from you?"

"Ehhh,nothing special!She just wants me to get Germany's number for her,'cuz she has a crush on him. But,please,don't tell this anyone or she'll kill me!",trembled America."Anyway,I have to leave you,old man!Have a nice day!"

"Hey,don't call me old man or...". By time England began his treathenings,the American was already gone. He looked at Alex,who was humming something,while cleaning the tables."Why she would choose Germany?",thought he,while leaving the caffeteria. The Brit forgot the comic book there.

Somewhat later,Romania,Bulgaria and Hungary came here as well. The strawberry blonde found the comic book:

"Hmmm...Looks like somebody discovered our true identities,my dear Bad Neighbours!",said Romania,as he read the title.

 **Woah,so this is the end,guys!I hope you enjoyed my story as well as I did writing it!Love you!**


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